The second most important of the four preference categories is the one that addresses decision making. And, the guiding force in our decision making is to achieve either a harmony of logic or a harmony of people.
Logic driven decision making may ensure that a sacred truth, like one plus one always equals two, remains in logical harmony. However, a decision whereby logical harmony is achieved may not also create a harmony of people. Let’s refer to this type of decision making as Thinking (or “T”).
People driven decision making may ensure that the people that are impacted by the decision are, at worst, partially contented. However, a decision whereby harmony of people is achieved may not also create a harmony of logic. Let’s refer to this type of decision making as Feeling (or “F”).
There is an unending set of decisions that we each make on a daily basis both consciously and subconsciously. In some sense, it is this unending string of decisions that constitutes the continuum of our life experience. Consider the following:
· When someone you know is struggling with an issue, do you respond by giving advice or proposing a solution to their problem for them (a T approach) or do you listen empathetically and commiserate with them so that they may feel better (an F approach)?
· When there is a disagreement and an interaction becomes intense, do you attempt to calm things down and de-escalate the situation (F) or do you correct the logic and continue the debate (T)?
· Is upholding a principle (T) more important than maintaining a relationship (F)?
· Do the ends justify the means (T) or do the means justify the ends (F)?
As you think about each of the preceding items, you may imagine situations where you could be either a T or an F depending on the people involved and the specifics of the situation. However, the more important the decision and the more stressful the circumstances around the decision, the more likely you are to gravitate to your preferred decision-making function and apply it firmly.
Discovering your core decision making preferences is the beginning of self-awareness. Developing the ability to select and apply the appropriate decision-making style as the problems of life present themselves is the beginning of social awareness.